I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I need moral support for this bender
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
