eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
