ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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