mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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