White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
