You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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