Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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