I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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