you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
