i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
