College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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