Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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