i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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