let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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