he wants to bone in the snuggie
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
