i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
