3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize