She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
