My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
