i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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