Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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