Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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