Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
