I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dignity is for republicans.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
