She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
