I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
