And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
