Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
