idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
