Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
