Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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