Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
