I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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