And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
