Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
