just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you never un-have a 4some
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize