yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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