So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
