You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
