i don't like sucking hair
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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