Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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