Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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