1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
