Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
