it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
