RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
