Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
