not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
