So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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