The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
