oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
