How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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