Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
did you just send me my own nude
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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