Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
