i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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