Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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