Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
